


love me or leave me

by Scofie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Rey Needs A Hug, Romance, Smut, They are meant for each other, ben is married, but not really, i don’t know what it is, my first attempt at writing in english, so forgive me any mistakes :)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2020-05-28 11:08:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19392880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scofie/pseuds/Scofie
Summary: Rey and Ben—two lonely people, met during a difficult time for each of them.And when fate spreads them apart, they understand that it's for the best. But is it? Or the best thing that ever happened to them, were their far from perfect relationships?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> okay. english is not my first language. so please forgive me any mistakes :)
> 
> big thanks to my lovely [Frankie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeandcigarettesplease/) and a million thanks to sweet [cjcantina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjcantina/pseuds/cjcantina) for being wonderful betas!
> 
> the title of this story is from the same name song by three days grace; this song is total mood of the story, too

Life brings them together on the most typical Friday night.

Rey ends up in that nightclub by accident. 

First, Rose drags Rey to the pub to celebrate her birthday, which was a few weeks ago. There they meet with Paige, and after a shot of tequila, the girls go to the next bar, where they meet up with Poe. And he, _the bastard_ , persuades them to go dance. 

Rey is not in the mood for fun. Because of her failing grades, she'll be expelled from the University any day now. At work, too, things are a complete mess—if she doesn’t stay until closing, she’ll be kicked out of the restaurant where she’s been working as a waitress for several months by now. 

She has no money to pay for the rent, so apparently, she will have to return to the fucking dorm. 

And because of all of this, she’s not feeling much like partying. 

Rey is not going to spoil the fun of her friends though, so she puts on her brightest smile and tries to relax a little bit. But as soon as she gets inside, Rey feels a growing headache from the loud music. 

Rose immediately pulls her to the dance floor, where friends are circling under a popular summer song, but she has no desire to move more than necessary. All last night she spent at work, serving a banquet for three hundred people, not being able to get a smoke break at least once. And in the morning she went early for studying, sleeping only a few hours at most. 

Rey, weary with exhaustion, soon slips away to the bar, where the volume of the music is reduced to a blessed minimum.

Rey has no money; she's just going to sit on a chair and let her feet rest a little, but a very nice guy works at the bar. He pours her a sparkling wine—not the best, but Rey thanks the guy and sips a pink drink, not even thinking to complain about the sour taste. 

The music here doesn't really sound too loud, but still the beat goes right to her bones. 

Rey taps her fingertips on the table top, allowing herself to enjoy the pleasant atmosphere for the first time all evening. 

In the dim neon light and the gray curls of smoke, it's easy to pretend that everything in her life is nice. 

It is easy to pretend to be a carefree girl, whose main problem is to choose a man with whom she will go home tonight. 

Taking another sip, Rey feels the thoughts in her head slowly start to settle down, and eventually the consciousness of the cloud of alcoholic haze washes over her. 

Her problems gradually fade into the background, and for the first time in the evening she smiles for real. There's a sea of strangers around her, but her eyes suddenly catch on the man to her left; all of a sudden Rey feels a crowd of goosebumps sweep down her spine.

He sits very close to her, drinks Jack on the rocks without taking his eyes off the display of his phone, which lies in front of him on the table. 

She studies his expressive profile; a mop of dark hair falling over his eyes, a large nose that is slightly crooked, as if it had been broken more than once, and his lips, _those delicious lips_ , were surely made for kissing. In the glowing neon light, she manages to see as he bites them, as if trying to hold back a smile. 

Rey glances away so quickly a fiery flash of pain shoots down her neck. Gosh, this is awkward. Did he notice her shameless gaze? 

She takes a little sip, trying not to stare in his direction. Instead she looks over her shoulder, trying to find Rose or Paige or, in extreme cases, Poe, but her friends are not in sight, so Rey returns to her glass, feeling a strange sense of anticipation, a warm wave spilling inside.

He is in his early thirties, no more, she concludes to herself. Taking another sip Rey stealthily looks toward the stranger. He's texting someone, which is great, because now she can look at him properely.

Her gaze falls to his sensual mouth once more, and Rey almost falls from her chair, noticing the tip of his tongue peeking out: he is so intently typing that Rey can't help but smile.

Pulling away from his lips with effort, not otherwise, she examines the massive shoulders, raised forearms, large hands. He's got a watch that's worth more than both her kidneys, and... a wedding band on his ring finger. 

Rey frowns, sighs with disappointment, and turns away. She’s not the kind of a girl that welcomes random hookups, and to fuck a married man would really suck. 

Instead of warming the heat inside spreads an unpleasant chill. 

Rey tries, _really tries_ to get out of her mind the mental picture of this man fucking her right here. 

Why is life so unfair? 

Rey regrets picking up the phone at all and answering Rose's call. She would be sitting at home right now, cramming for her lessons, and wouldn’t have almost met a man who makes her knees weak. 

_Fuck_.

She is already so worked up that she is almost ready to close her eyes to his marital status just for good sex—and Rey is somehow convinced that this guy fucks like a God—it’s just unlikely he will be interested in her at all. 

Rey is not ugly, but there is nothing outstanding in her—no big boobs, no huge butt. Only nerds and guys next door falls for girls like her. Definitely not an adult, married, handsome man, who smells like power and self confidence... and a great cologne.

Rey finishes her drink—the bartender, with a radiant smile, immediately asks if she wants more. Rey refuses, because her head is already spinning, and it’s embarrassing to drink too much for free. And the guy is not so bad; of course, not as good looking as the man sitting next to her, but not a total freak. That's the kind of a guy who may fall for girl like her. 

Rey is almost ready to openly hint that she doesn't mind to talk with him some more. 

She wants to drown in this night and as long as possible not to remember the pressing problems... 

But suddenly, to her left comes a voice, the one that makes her stomach flip. She forgets how to _breathe_.

“Be a good boy, give the girl your best champagne.”

Rey tries not to jerk, she tries not to betray her emotion. 

Turning around, she’s immediately drowning in the dark eyes of the stranger who looks at her with undisguised interest.

Out of the corner of her eye, she notes the bartender putting a new glass in front of her, filling it with sparkling liquid, but the eye contact with a man is _so intense_ that she can‘t take her eyes off of him.

“You've been drinking shit all night,” he says bluntly. “Time to try an adult drink.”

_Oh?_

Rey swallows, not quite understanding how she should interpret these words. Is he _flirting_? Well, that can't be.

“I'm not too picky.”

“No?”

She shakes her head and touches the stem of the crystal glass with her fingertips. 

Good God, she wouldn't flirt with a married man, she _wouldn't_! 

Glancing at him from under her lashes, she notices a crooked grin that makes her want to fall to her knees in front of him right now. 

She struggles to hide her interest. 

She'd never had to deal with a married man before, but the truth is, she likes _this one_ so much that Rey is ready to ignore the ring that adorns his ring finger.

“Try it,” he says simply, and Rey sees no reason to refuse.

The first sip explodes on her tongue with a firework of fresh sweetness. What the bartender gave her, in comparison with this yummy sparkling wine, seems like fermented slops. Rey is not an expert, she doesn’t understand wines, but even she feels the difference between the drinks that she tried tonight. 

“It’s... Holy _shit_. It tastes so fucking good!” Rey don’t care that she sounds like uncouth hillbilly, she feels so good right now. She won’t worry about what this stranger— _a very beautiful, married stranger_ —thinks about her. She has neither the strength for this, nor the desire.

“I'm glad you liked it.”

She takes another sip and licks her lips. “Me too.”

“Are you alone here?”

Rey shakes her head, looking around. “With my friends.”

In sight of so many people, but none of them were familiar faces. They didn't leave her, did they?

“What‘s your name?” The man draws her into reality, and Rey shakes her head, trying to shake off the daze.

“Rey.”

“ _Rey_ ,” She notices the movement of his tongue, which makes her lick her own lips as well. Rey takes another sip of champagne and thanks the universe for the dimness in which—she hopes—he can't see her flaming cheeks. “Beautiful.”

He doesn’t tell her his name, so feeling like a complete idiot and clingy, Rey still dared to ask.

“And what's your name, Mr. Drinks for Adults?”

Beautiful full lips stretch in a smile, making her heart begin to beat in her throat. 

“Ben.”

 _Ben_ —Rey mentally repeat, holding out her hand to him.

“Nice to meet you.”

“ _Likewise_.”

A handshake is soft, but sure. Rey is lost herself in the cycle of sensations as their hands touch each other. If she used to make fun of all these love stories, in which the main character falls for the man at first sight, _at first touch_ , now the same shit happens to her.

“And you are...” She mentally gives herself a kick in the ass when his expression slips fun, and she quickly corrected herself. “You expecting someone?”

_Please say yes, say yes. Don't let me drown in you, don't do this._

Rey doesn't know what she wants. Jump in with both feet, forgetting that, in fact, all this is not about her or stop this madness right now. After all, she doesn’t meet in clubs with men for a one-time hookup, doesn’t spend nights with strangers just to forget herself. She is a good girl who doesn’t get involved in such adventures. 

Rey licks her lips, and sees his gaze trace the movements of her tongue. 

It takes her a second to shove all the right thoughts away, because she was sick of being a good girl, to anything good that behavior to this day has not led.

“Yes,” he nods, and inside of Rey dies flocks of tiny butterflies. Sure, _right_ , better stop it right now before it's too late. The man— _Ben_ —just took pity on her, treated great champagne, and she had already come up with a story. She doesn’t have time to accept her fate. He utters just _one word_ , and Rey immediately turns off her brain. “You.”

No. No, no, _no_.

She swallows and tries not to look too excited, but damn it, she likes him so much, and her life is too dark, so why not give in just for once? Really? Who would be worse off?

Her thoughts suddenly return to the fact that he has _a wife_ , and Rey wrinkles her nose, shaking her head slightly.

“I don't fuck married guys.”

Smile, that lit up his angular face, fills her such warmth, which twist in her lower belly. Dear Lord, what the fuck is he doing to her?

“No?” She shakes her head, and he leans so close that she can smell not only his perfume, but his own scent, which, if she hadn't been sitting on a chair, would have fallen her on her back. “I'm divorced.”

In her mind flashes a red light, ringing about a flat lie that even a five-year-old would understand, but Rey has lost all remnants of common sense just a few minutes ago.

She clears her throat before answering.

“Would you like to leave?”

He leans in even closer, and for a split second, Rey thinks he's going to kiss her, but instead, Ben touches her cheek with his nose and whispers in her ear, causing her to grab onto the bar, because otherwise she's going to fall to the floor.

“I want you _so bad_ I can't even _think_ of anything else.”

She can't even think straight herself, let alone speak out loud. So Rey nods and gets up from her chair, while texting Rose that she's going home with a man named Ben, in case he turns out to be a maniac who decided to fuck her cooling corpse.

She doesn't quite remember how they are leaving the club. Catching a cab, all the way to her apartment, she does not get off of his knees, drowning in the hot sensations, as if in an endless boiling ocean. 

Ben’s lips are really _made_ for kissing, Rey is convinced of this with every new movement of his mouth. 

The car stops at her entrance, but she can't bring herself to break away from him, so Ben pays the driver, and Rey wraps her arms around his neck when he comes out with her in his arms.

“You... you live _here_?” She hears surprise in his voice and sees his dark eyes open wide.

“Yes, but not for long,” She mutters sheepishly, trying to stand up straight, but her legs give way, and Ben pulls her closer, putting his broad palm on the small of her back.

“Moving?”

“Yeah, I'll go back to the Univer Dorm,” She laughs. “Don’t have many for the rent.”

He wants to say something, but Rey pulls him into another kiss and make him go inside, not wanting to think about her problems, because right now she wants _to forget_ about them.

In the stairwell, it's completely dark (some fuckers broke the bulb again!), so several times they almost fall, unable to break away from each other, and entering the apartment, Rey finally loses herself in a dizzying sensation.

He's an _amazing_ lover. And it's not about his age or the size of his bank account. It's just that this man makes her body sing by touching her in a way that no one has ever done before. Ben pushes Rey over the edge of pleasure and keeps her there all night long. 

He fucks her into the mattress, forcing her to break her voice. He takes her from behind, her face into the pillow. And when Rey falls into a blissful sleep, he presses her to his chest as gently as if she was made of glass.

He wakes her up in the early morning, with his mouth between her legs, brings her, half-asleep, to unconsciousness, and then he fucks her so slowly, and Rey doubts that she will survive another orgasm.

Never before had she had such an insatiable man. He fucks out her whole soul, while doing it so skillfully that makes her literally _cry_ with joy. Her body is oversaturated with pleasure, her muscles turn to jelly, and Rey is not sure if she will be able to walk normally for tomorrow.

When Rey wakes up the next morning, she's alone in the crumpled bed. 

Only on the bedside table next to the bed, she finds two grand, on top of which is a full glass of water, and the text from an unknown number:

> I'm not done with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/CRYOMANCER) ❤️


	2. Ben I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's POV ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> i'd really like to know what y'all think about it :)

The phone in his pocket buzzes incessantly, and he wants so fucking badly to throw it as far away as possible, but Ben is restored control over his temper just in time; after all he won't let this fucking bitch getting into his head ever again. 

The tension stiffens his shoulders, causing a throbbing pain in the back of his head. It rolls up in sickening waves. Ben parks at a familiar club and gets out of his car, not wanting anything more than to get drunk. To try and forget about all the shit that’s happened to him in the past twenty-four hours. 

That damned bitch Bazine had dragged him into a swamp that he couldn't get out of. 

She is the best wife in the world indeed: not only did she fuck Ben's assistant, but also she managed to get pregnant from him. 

Ben doesn't care about their crumbling marriage that has only been real for a couple of months, if not less; he doesn’t care about the fact that his wife is carrying a child of a redheaded snake that Ben once cherished; he is only concerned about the welfare of the company, in which he—and several generations of his family—has poured all of himself almost selling his soul to the devil and turning his heart to stone. 

And Snoke made it clear that if Ben didn't cool down and forgive his wife for cheating on him and accept her child as his own, all transactions between the two corporations would be severed, and that would result in multi-billion losses. 

Just thinking about it is suffocating; but today he has already losing his nerve, so drinking is a great way out. 

It’s crowded inside, and he squeezes through to the bar, feeling a little annoyed and discontented. The anxiety kicks in, and when the bartender pours amber liquid into his glass, Ben closes his eyes, trying to drown in the alcohol, emotions tearing his mind to pieces. 

Everything has been wrong in his life for as long as he can remember. As a child, he was infinitely lonely, because of his mother—the work was more important than her own son. In his adolescence, when his parents (already not very good at getting along) decided to divorce, not caring about their only child. It was only thanks to the timely help of a psychiatrist that he didn't go crazy. The transitional age ruined the child inside Ben, forcing him to look at the world through black-and-white glasses, because his rose-colored ones broke into tiny little pieces. 

After graduating from high school, he went to college and after receiving a diploma, Ben has worked for a competitor of his family's corporation for several years just to spite his mother. 

But after awhile, Ben returned to where he belongs, initially acting as an assistant to his mother's deputy, later becoming Leia's right-hand man, and a few years later heading the Empire, because his mother finally decided to retire. 

CEO of Empire—which only sounds nice—is not. 

In fact, Ben worked his butt off for the good of the holding, slept for months in the workplace, literally went through hell and even married the daughter of a competitor—fucking Snoke, that Ben worked for when he was younger—just to bring the company to a new level, thanks to lucrative contracts that were concluded immediately after the marriage. 

Ben Solo had achieved heights that his mother could only dream of, and he was impossibly proud of his work and personal achievements. 

And after all of this, to see his life's work crumble to the bone is unbearable. 

The alcohol warms his gut, and for the first time that evening, Ben lets out a deep breath as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. There is a lot of new messages on the screen. He clenches his teeth, and opens the stream of messages from his wife. 

> Ben, come home.

> We need to talk.

> This is your baby, I swear.

> Don't ruin our family, my love. Please.

A hot wave sweeps down his back, mixing rage, hatred, and a bit of fun. 

Was she that naive? Or did she think he was that stupid? They haven’t fucked in God knows how long, and now she’s trying to pass of Hux’s baby as Ben’s?! 

Miraculously, he is holding back with the last of his strength, not allowing himself to throw the glass at the wall. 

A melodious girlish laugh pulls him out of his reverie, and Ben turns around so abruptly that he's seeing double. 

She sits right next to him—he could reach out and touch her—and laughs at some ridiculous joke from the bartender, who almost jumps out of his pants in an attempt to impress her. 

How old is she? She looks so young. 

Ben is suddenly very hopeful that she is eighteen, because he wouldn't mess with a minor, and she is— 

There is something about her that made his blood boil, and he wants to take her home _so badly_. 

The phone rings again, and he reluctantly looks up from her lips, which close on the rim of the crystal glass.

> Ben, I love you.

What is she drinking? It must be something trash. He notices the bartender pouring her a cheap sparkling wine that makes Ben sick. 

He glances at her again, and when she takes a sip, her nose crinkles charmingly—even in the dim neon light, Ben can see a scattering of freckles on her face. 

He wants to lick all of them. 

_Ben, I love you._

Ben. Ben. Ben. 

He shakes his head, trying to get his wife's voice out of his head. 

Crazy bitch, why was she doing this? Was it not enough already? Does she want more?! 

He takes a sip, out of habit his hand reaches into his pocket, but there are no cigarettes there, because he doesn’t smoke anymore. 

The urge to light a cigarette tickles his insides; Ben frowns, fighting off the compulsive feeling and looks at the girl sitting next to him. 

He wants to talk to her, but something stops him at the very last moment, so Ben turns to the bartender, asking him to pour her some good champagne. 

If he were younger, he would grab her in his arms and drag her to the dance floor, where he would kiss her until there was no air in her lungs, and then he would take her home, where he would fuck her until dawn. 

But, unfortunately, he is no longer at that age; his status does not allow him to lose his head, and at home he has a wife, damn her, so Ben chooses a more civilized way of getting to know her. 

He’s trying to remain an adult, sane man, but when she smiles at him, when she _smiles_ and tells him her name—Rey, Rey, Rey—he immediately forgets himself— fuck conventions. He forgets about his problems, and very much hopes that she will allow him to be with her at least for tonight.

She smells of warm summer, fresh breeze and intoxicating sex. 

Ben is drowning in her—in this girl he met only an hour ago—like an endless ocean. 

He loses his head, completely forgetting that there is at least someone else in the world besides the two of them. He also forgets that he arrived at the club in his car, and he barely remember the moment when they both get into a cab. 

He would have eaten her, she is so delicious. 

Rey moans into his mouth, and Ben has barely touched her. 

Fuck, _fuck_ — 

Her smell makes him feel like he's been drugged. 

She lives in a house that should have been demolished long ago, it's so old and scary, and Ben immediately wants to ask her to go to his home—the thought of the rage on Bazin's face gives him unhealthy pleasure—but Rey shuts him up with a kiss, and he lifting her in his arms and stops restrain himself. 

Ben wants her so much that it feels like he's about to explode. 

With a shaky hand, she opens the door to her apartment, while he kisses, licks and sucks into her neck, holding her waist with both hands, and pressing his hips against her as tightly as possible. 

They stumble inside, and a shameless moan escapes her lips that makes his legs buckle. 

Abruptly, he grabs her ass and holds her up, one knee braced against the wall. 

She is like a Christmas present that he just wants to unpack as quickly as possible. 

Rey rubs against him like a cat, and he catches her mouth, going crazy with dizziness because of her nimble tongue. 

She is wearing a short summer dress, very thin, but too annoying, so when there is a crackle of fabric, Ben does not immediately realize that he did it. 

“Ben!”, Rey exclaims indignantly. 

His hand touches her little, bare breast, squeezing her nipple in his fingers, and she throws her head back and twitches, trying to rub against his thigh. 

“I'll buy you another,” he growls, sucking on the soft skin between her neck and shoulder. 

_Yes_ , he would buy her a ton of dresses, a whole store if she’d like, as long as she didn't ask him to stop. 

She's sweet, fresh, warm, real; Ben pulls away from her lips and stares into her eyes, trying to figure out what color they are... 

... They are green. 

“Is something wrong?” She sounds concerned; Ben returns to reality, a reality where he is holding a gorgeous girl in his arms. He almost dies at how much he wants to fuck her. 

“All good, sweetheart.” 

He holds her more firmly and walks with her into her apartment, which has only one room and a tiny, little bed. He puts her down, and the bed creaks softly as he presses her into the mattress. 

“Please, Ben,” she moans, leaning back against the pillows as he pushes her panties aside and slides his fingers over her hot entrance. 

She is so wet, so ready, that his lower back prickle with the desire to slide in her at this very moment. 

Rey is such a sweet girl that he barely has the willpower not to going insane. 

"Stop teasing me.” 

_Oh?_

He's just getting started. 

She arches against his painfully hard cock, which makes the stars bloom in Ben's eyes. He hisses through clenched teeth, but this time she repeats the movement on purpose, smiling at him like a naughty brat. 

His hands itch to turn her on her stomach and spank her for this outburst, but as if reading his mind, she reaches for him and pull him into a searing kiss, in time buck her hips against his. 

“In a hurry, huh?” He whispers in her ear, dragging himself from her mouth and carefully inserting a finger into her. 

She is so tight, _impossible so_ , and he needs to prepare her as carefully as possible, but his self-control is almost on the edge, it is already simply bursting at the seams. 

“N—no,” Rey gasps, arching her back as he adds a second finger. 

She jerks under him and covers her mouth with her hands, muffling loud, drawn-out moans. 

He'd never seen anything hotter in his life, though he'd fucked more women than he could count. Continuing to pump his fingers into her, he leans lower and licking her breasts, sucks her tight nipples into his mouth one by one. She writhes beneath him, endlessly bucking against his rock-hard cock through layers of fabric, and squeezes her fingers in his hair, treading the fine line between causing pain and pleasure. 

“Come on, baby, just like that.” First he'll make her come, and then he'll fuck her senseless, just like he wants to. 

Yes, that's exactly what he will do. 

She presses her face into her pillow and came with a wail that makes his ears ring. 

_Fuck_ , he almost falls on top of her, almost came right in his pants like a fucking teenager, but he holds back, _he holds back_ , leaving a huge hickey on her neck that instantly turns bright red. 

“You like that?” he asks softly, nuzzling her cheek with his nose. 

“Take—off your—clothes,” she says breathless and Ben only now realizes that he is still fully clothed. 

Shaking his head, he presses his lips to her open mouth, messily sucks her lower lip, feeling her trying to pull his jacket off his shoulders. 

Fuck it. 

He pulls away from her and take off his clothes as quickly as possible. 

Rey's pupils are impossible wide, and there's a flush on her cheeks that even the darkness can't hide, and for a second Ben realizes that never in his life he’s didn’t seen anyone more beautiful. 

What had come over him? 

Fuck, he'll think about it later. 

But she really _is_ beautiful; he says it out loud, which makes her cheeks redder. 

Seconds goes by, and he can't take his eyes off her. 

“What?” And again Rey pulls him out of his reverie, gently stroking his forearm with the tips of her fingers. 

“Nothing,” he says again, leaning in closer and guiding himself, dizzy slow pushes into her all the way in. “It's all right.” 

It takes him—and her—a few moments to get used to each other, but soon Ben begins to move, losing the last pieces of self-control. His thrusts get deeper, stronger, harder, and now Rey is moaning again as if she is going to come. 

_Yes_ , he feels it, too. 

Gripping the headboard with one hand, he slides the other under the small of her back and lifts her just enough to change the angle a little. 

“Oh, God, Ben, don't stop,” she begs, putting her arms around his shoulders. “ _Please_.” 

He won't stop now, even if he wants to—even if the world ends, even if the earth opens up, and they, right there, on that damn bed fall straight to hell. 

He feels her approach the edge, and pulling his hand out from under her back, Ben throws her leg over his shoulder, spreads her legs even wider, pushes in her even deeper. 

With each thrust, her moans grow louder, and he feels her begin to clench around him, and because of her tightness, because of her hot wetness, he’s about to lose his fucking mind. 

“Come on, sweetheart,” he growls through clenched teeth, not sure if he can hold out for a little longer. “Just like that.” 

He pushes into her once, twice, so hard, so deep that Rey squints and stretches under him, coming with a force that makes the damn galaxies flash behind his eyes. 

He manages to pull out in time and coming on her stomach with a loud cry. 

It must be some kind of magic. She bewitched him, swept the fuck out of all the laws of physics, pushed all of his problems out of his head, and for the first time in twenty-four hours, Ben feels a burning headache go away. 

He falls on top of her, instantly rolling onto his back, but Rey immediately pressing against him. 

Holding her close, Ben idly strokes her back and thinks... it's not enough. 

He wants _more_.

***

He leaves before she wakes up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/CRYOMANCER) ❤️


	3. Rey I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's POV, in this one :)
> 
> and i'd really like to know what y'all think about it :)

Rey jumps out of bed, so abruptly that colored spots immediately bloom in front of her eyes.

Is this some kind of joke?

The bills are brand new, crisp, and when she touches them, something nasty, disgusting, and sickening blooms inside of her.

She feels dirty, used.

Did he...

Did he really...?

Did he take her for a whore?

Pulling her hand away from the bills as if they were poisonous, Rey feels the floor begin to swing under her feet.

She wants to laugh out loud or cry, but instead she snorts loudly, clenching her teeth and trying not to get upset, not to take it to her heart, not to cry, after all.

She, a complete idiot, had managed to invent a beautiful fairy tale in which a hot spark slipped between them, a connection was established, real, warm, and frighteningly pleasant...

Thoughts stumble over each other when Rey remembers that he is married. She didn't really believe him about the divorce. She didn't buy it, did she?

The ugly truth hits her in the face with such force that Rey can't keep her feet, slowly sinking to the floor.

Of course.

Married dude just decided to have fun, meet with a girl for a one night stand, relaxed and went back to under his wife's wing.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Of—fucking—course.

What an idiot she was—a fool, a stupid, naive cow.

And there is no one to blame but herself, because she knew exactly what she was signing up for.

Her chest is aching and there are burning tears in her eyes, but she'll be damned if she lets a single tear roll down her cheek.

She won't whine or cry about that... an amazing man, the memory of whom makes her heart stutter in her chest, pounding faster and faster.

Fuck _him_.

He's not the one she's going to cry about.

Pulling herself together, Rey reaches for the nightstand and picks up her phone.

After rereading his text once, twice, she bites her thumbnail, thinking ... did he really like her enough to want to see her again?

No. She _won't_ make the same mistake again.

It’s a big no—no to get involved with a married man. Of course she knows that, right?

Her fingers itch to send back a message with a lot of unflattering adjectives, but instead she sends him a short—

_Fuck you, Ben._

—and sends his number to the blacklist.

Look at him. Fucking moron. If he wants a whore, he can go to a brothel, or wherever prostitutes live now.

When the first wave of shock and indignation fades, Rey looks down and notices the bruises on her thighs that have been left by his fingers. There hickeys all over her chest—for fucks sake—her poor nipples are fucking purple!

She gets to her feet with some difficulty, feeling sore between her thighs, and goes to the mirror, where she sees herself in the reflection. She almost growls dejectedly: her throat, collarbones, and shoulders are all in the dark purple marks of his fingers, hands and lips.

What the _fuck_ , he branded her all over from head to toe.

With an exasperated sigh, she realizes that in her apartment still smells like him.

Rey inhales again, and _again_ , feeling the saliva pools in her mouth, a tickling sensation appears in her lower belly, and fire creeps up her thighs.

Asshole.

She's in the shower before she can blink.

Turning on the hot water, Rey washes off his smell, his seed, and him, furiously rubbing her skin with a washcloth until it’s sensitive. After standing for a long time under the scorching jets, she wraps herself in a towel, but barely steps into the room, the smell of him... almost knocks her off her feet, as if getting even stronger.

With an exasperated growl, Rey rips off the sheets from the bed and sending them to the laundry.

After making the bed, she dries her hair, dresses herself (generously covering the bruises on her neck with makeup) and, picking up her backpack, goes to uni, promising herself to get the man named Ben out of her head.

***

Rey can't stop thinking about him.

After going out to smoke on the porch between the first and second classes she runs into Rose—very shabby, sleepy and with a slight smell of alcohol in her breath—and vents all her sorrows to her friend.

Rey tells her friend about meeting Ben, and how easy it was for her to communicate with him, about a ride to her home and a night full of the best sex she's ever had.

She tells about how he left her a cash, as if paying her for this very sex.

The fact that he is married, Rey, lowering her eyes to the floor, admits at the very end

In the course of the story, Rose moves from the enthusiastic—“ _C'mon, are you serious? Is he really that good?_ “—and—“ _Girl, I almost fall for him myself!_ “—to the scornful—“ _Fucker_ ” and “ _What a bastard_ ”.

After Rey admits it all, she feels a little better—just a little, but still.

She also talks about his text, wondering aloud whether this means that he would like to meet her again, to which Rose categorically states: “Let him go fuck himself. You can find a good guy, just find unmarried one, that is.”

And Rey... agrees.

Isn't there not enough drama in her life? She already has problems up to the roof, and she does not want to get into this shit. Not a little bit. Even for a man like him. Didn't she?

For the rest of the classes she tells herself not to pull Ben's number out of a blacklist.

And she doing just... fine, like a good girl she is.

She resists the stupid but tempting urge to call him—to hear his low, deep voice which makes her weak in the knees—and realize that last night was not a figment of her sick imagination.

The last class is cancelled and Rey hurries home, because in an hour she needs to be at work.

Tossing her backpack in the corner, she takes a quick shower, pulls on her uniform—black shorts and a white polo, with white converses and matching socks—and pulls her hair into a high, tight ponytail.

Time is running out, and all she has to do is put on makeup and cover up the hickeys on her neck, but suddenly the silence is shattered by an insistent knock on the door.

Frowning, Rey goes to the front door, thinking that Unkar Plutt, her landlord, must be here.

She will need to pay the rent only after five days, but the old bastard has taken the habit of coming for payment ahead of schedule, thinking up thousands of different reasons for this.

Rey glances at the money on the nightstand and thinks that she, maybe, could take a hundred if Unkar doesn't take pity on her and would insists that he needs the payment right now.

Or—most likely—her pride would not allow her to use that damn money, and she would have to call Rose or Finn or even Poe and ask them to lend her cash.

Without even looking through the peephole, Rey opens the door and feels her heart begin to beat in her throat.

It wasn't Unkar Plutt who came to her.

Ben stands on her doorstep, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

He is wearing a dark blue suit that suits him _so well_ , and Rey opens her mouth to say something, _anything_ , but finding no words, so she turns around and walks inside her apartment in absolute silence.

Taking the money from the nightstand, she returns to the door—Ben has already walks inside—and presses the bills into his ridiculously broad chest.

He frowns and tries to take her hand, but Rey jumps back so abruptly that he has to take the bills that for a moment stuck to his jacket.

“Rey,” he begins with that deep voice of his, but she doesn't listen. She turns around and walks to the mirror, picking up the makeup and smearing it down her neck.

She hears—and sees in the reflection in the mirror—how he follows her.

The expression on his face is priceless.

He seems to be at a loss: he opens his mouth to ask a question, but then closes it, tightly presses his lips together, and Rey looks away—she has to look away when she realize that she is staring at him for an unacceptably long time.

Bent over in front of the mirror and not caring what she looks like right now, Rey tries to puts eyeliner to her eyes as evenly as possible, so when Ben comes closer to her and puts his huge hands on her hips, she doesn't twitch a bit.

He presses himself against her from behind, one hand on her waist, the other he raised to her throat, caressing her tender skin.

Leaning toward her, he kisses her shoulder, her nape and the top of her head.

Rey freezes, not immediately realizing at what point she went from “ _I can’t move because I‘m putting eyeliner on my eyes_ ” to “ _I won't move because I enjoy his touches_ ”.

“I missed you,” he breathes in her ear, and she presses her ass against him, completely out of control of her own body.

Through the layers of fabric, she feels his hard cock, and she presses herself closer to him, because it's so good to know, _to feel_ what effect she has on him.

He presses his hips toward her, and she can hear his breath catch in his throat.

What's the actual fuck is wrong with her?! Is she completely insane or something?

“I'm late for work.” She finds the strength to take the mascara and start tinting her lashes.

“I'll drive you.” He moves his hips again, and Rey—damn her libido—lets out a soft moan, almost poking her eye with the brush.

She sees his dark gaze light up in the reflection and takes a long breath, then exhales, before throwing her head back to his shoulder and letting him kiss her.

Rey is drowning in him, drowning _again_ , unable to find the strength or desire to break away from him as far as possible.

She knows how wrong it is; she still resents him for treating her like a whore, but her heart, or rather her body, is wants what it wants.

Their tongues dance together, igniting in Rey—in her whole body, in her lower belly, between her thighs—an uncontrollable, pure fire.

Flames lick her toes, climb up her ankles, knees, thighs... she has to put a lot of effort in order to escape from his arms and run to the bathroom as if the devil himself chasing after her.

What the _hell_ is wrong with her?

Feeling hot and wet between her legs, she looks at herself in the mirror in horror. Her eyes are burning, her cheeks are flushed, and her chest is heaving with agitated breathing.

No, no, _no_.

Turning on the icy water, she moistens her hands and touches her red cheeks with cold fingers.

Fuck, _fuck_ , not again!

When she counts to ten, she comes out of the bathroom as if nothing had happened, but immediately crashes into into his broad chest.

“What... the…” She stammers, but Ben takes a step toward her, presses her into the wall.

“Rey,” he puts his hand between her and the wall. And then one of his hands is on the small of her back, and the other gently touches her stomach. “I just want to check something out. And we'll get going.”

Before she can say a word, he unzips the button on her shorts and slides his hand into the narrow waistband and right between her legs.

She is wet and feeling it, Ben inhales sharply through his nose, rubbing her juices on the hot flesh.

“Rey, _fuck_.” He kisses her forehead, then puts his head on her shoulder and begins to move his fingers so that in a second she is moaning like a crazy. “Come on, sweetheart, don't hold back.”

Holding her closer, he slides two fingers into her at once, fucking her exactly the way she wants: fast, hard and deep.

If it hadn't been for his embrace, she would have fallen to the floor.

Whispering words of approval in her ear, Ben pushes her over the edge of pleasure in record short time.

Rey comes with a scream, pressing her mouth into Ben's shoulder, and soon he is pulls his hand out from her shorts, zips them up, and kisses her briefly but firmly on the lips, causing the already gasping Rey to hang on his neck.

“You're late for work, aren't you?” he grins into her mouth and Rey begins to realize with horror that she's allowed this to happen again. God, _no_.

“Y... Yes” she stammers, and when Ben relaxes his embrace, she bounces away from him as if he'd just burned her.

_Better to be burning_ , she thinks, grabbing the phone from her nightstand.

They goes outside in silence, and when Rey sees his car—a shiny, as if only from the assembly line Mercedes business class, she restrained with the last of her strength not to ask where exactly he is works.

She is curious, very much, but she seems to have decided that there is nothing is going on between them, and nothing can be between them at all, so that she does not need to get to know him better.

She gives him the address where her workplace is located, and Ben clarifies by saying the name of the restaurant as if he had been there a thousand times.

Rey nods, thinking that now he can shows up at any time, at her home or at her work.

And judging by the ease with which he gets into her pants a few minutes ago, she could hardly say him no.

She is _fucked_. Totally.

Ben parks at the main entrance, and before Rey opened the door to go outside, he grabs her hand and pulls her against him. And his kiss—hot and wet and full of promises—makes the stars bloom behind her eyes.

“We're not done yet,” he breathes into her mouth, and she bites her lips, not sure if she's burning with joy or fear.

She gets out of his car without saying a single word to him, but all evening there are butterflies in her stomach.

Her good mood is bursting at the seams exactly at that moment, when a digest of the latest events in the world of celebrities begins on TV on some entertainment channel, and Rey hears that the famous top model and wife of oil tycoon and multimillionaire Ben Solo is pregnant.

The model announced the happy news in her Instagram account, posting a photo of the ultrasound image.

Rey would be glad to ignore this damn news, but the announcer's voice is so loud and so disgusting that Rey reluctantly looks up, wanting to ask Kaydel, standing behind the bar, to turn the TV down, and casually notices on the screen a picture of a stunning woman in arms of... her Ben.


	4. Rey II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another Rey's POV ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> angst getting bigger.
> 
> and i'd really like to know what y'all think about it :)

_Beautiful_ , gritting her teeth, Rey admits, frantically flipping through the photos in the profile of Ben’s wife.

She is smoking her second (or third?) cigarette, flicking ash on the concrete steps at the restaurant's service entrance, waiting for the day to come to an end.

Within 24 hours of meeting this man, he managed to gut her inside out, reassemble her and destroy her once again.

At this very moment, she hates him so much that she just wants to open her mouth and yell, burning hatred to the whole world.

Rey knows that this is her and only her fault; no one has forced her to fuck him, no one has made her lose her head from his stare, his touches, his embraces.

No one had pushed her into his arms, it was her, and she alone—an idiot, a complete fool, a brainless cow—who had dived into him, and now that the unpleasant truth had been revealed, which deep down she had known from the very beginning, she suddenly found out that... it _hurts_.

What nonsense, _how childish_. She had originally planned a one-time hookup, no more. And now what?

What the fuck is going on?

After finishing her cigarette, Rey throws the butt in the trash and lights another.

Her hands are shaking, her eyes are filled with tears, and she tries very hard to drown herself in the smoke, this aching feeling spreading somewhere deep in her chest.

His wife's name is Bazin, she's 27 years old, and she's been married to Ben Solo for five years—to a man who's about to drag Rey to hell.

Bazin's profile has hundreds of photos—each one more beautiful than the other—but Rey magnifies the one that attracts her eye, and carefully examines the professionally made picture of the newlyweds.

The bride's dress is so beautiful that Rey’s lips curl with envy. The woman in the photo is a real beauty, with regular features, flawless skin, perfect smile and a model’s figure.

Not like Rey, anyway, who looks like just came out of high school, and whose entire life is reduced to work, study, and the basic desire to survive.

Taking a deep pull of acrid smoke, she lets it out through her nose and clenches her teeth.

On the picture Ben puts his arm around his wife—his hand on her waist—and looks at her as if all his world revolve around her.

Under the photo, very romantic words: _Five years of marriage. There is no limit to our happiness._ And a whole bunch of heart emojis to boot.

 _Of course, it is_ , Rey grits her teeth, putting a like under the photo.

A happy marriage, a baby on the way, and the husband still fucks someone else, that's real happiness. If Rey hadn't been so hurt herself, if she hadn’t been the one this woman’s husband was fucking, tearing her own nerves and heart to shreds, Rey would probably have felt sorry for her, but... but.

No, that's enough, it's time to stop it.

Rey exits the app, and just in case, turns off her phone.

Somehow it hurts so fucking much, somewhere deep in her chest. A single tear falls on her lips. Licking the tear, Rey feels a salty bitterness. With a mirthless grin, she puts out her cigarette on the iron railing and goes inside.

Once again, she decides to put thoughts of him out of her head, because these experiences do not bear any benefit; crying for a man who don’t give a fuck about her, is humiliating, pathetic. She already had a lot of problems in her life, she won’t go crazy for someone who didn't deserve it. 

He doesn't deserve it, does he?

After returning home, Rey stands in the middle of her flat for several minutes, unable to move.

Either she's going nuts, or she can smell his cologne again, and that's it... it freezes her in place. She takes a breath, and another, and then another, until she feels the floor begin to sway under her feet. 

Exactly how she ends up in the shower, Rey does not know. It's just that one second she's trying to pull herself together, and the next, a scalding stream of water is pouring down on her. She sinks to the floor, hugging her knees, and for the first time gives way to tears.

It's all so wrong.

It shouldn't hurts so much, but this burning sense of loneliness is driving her crazy.

He hadn't promised her anything, hadn't even told her that there could be more than just a one-night stand between them—so why she is crying as if her heart had been torn to pieces?

Did she really think they could have a real connection?

She‘s not five, after all, so it was idiotic of her to believe that.

Maybe he wants to fuck her again, maybe he really likes her even, but the truth is that other than secret sex, he would give her nothing more.

And Rey... For the first time in her life, she want to feel not only wanted—Ben made her feel what it was like, that’s for sure—but loved as well.

She wants love, as in fairy tales.

She wants a heart bursting with happiness, she wants a singing soul and a smile that never leaves her face.

How could she not have known that before? Why did she only realize it now?

Or does she want it all, not just with someone, but only with... _him_?

Never before had a man touched her soul, crawled under her skin, or made himself comfortable in her heart. Never before had she felt this painful need for a stranger, and for God's sake, she had known him for just over a day!

Oh, God, no.

It's definitely not love. This doesn't happen, it's just ridiculous. Love at first sight—first sex, more precisely—does not exist. Well, except in the movies, and even then not always.

And what she feels at this very moment can't be _love_ , it’s just can't be.

A painful feeling of emptiness in her soul is just endless self-pity and nothing more.

After drying herself with a towel, she puts on a comfortable pair of pajamas and crawls into her bed, thinking only that a good night's sleep will help her recover, set her mind straight, clear her head of... _him_.

Well, she is right—it just affects sleeplessness, eternal fatigue, total lack of a life, human communication.

She would get a good sleep and in the morning go to Rose, who would probably by her hair pull Rey out of this...

She doesn't dare call this feeling _love_.

***

In the middle of the night, she is awakened by an insistent knock on her door.

Half asleep, she snarls into her pillow, but still gets to her feet and follows the sound, thinking only that she has been dreaming about something good, something unbelievably pleasant.

She was dreaming about... _someone_...

When she opens the door, she freezes in place, unable to take a breath...

Ben is standing in the doorway.

He's wearing the same suit as the last time she saw him, and his face has an expression of determination that makes her weak in her knees.

Without thinking too much about it, Rey steps back to let him in.

He takes a silent step forward, and she doesn't say a word either, and when he gets very close to her, Rey reaches out to him, puts her arms around his neck, and pulls him into a kiss, because she can't think of anything else.

He scoops her up into his arms, she wraps her legs around his waist, and when he puts her down on her bed, Rey is more than happy with what's happening.

She doesn't want to think at all. Later she would deal with this sense of wrongness that’s eating her alive, but right now…

After taking off his clothes, he helps her undress as well. Rey feels joy, almost _happiness_ , when he settles between her thighs and, guiding himself, pushes into her with one swift motion.

The stretch is burning, but he starts to move instantly before she even knows it, and she feels so full, so whole, and it’s _so good_ , that Rey closes her eyes and clinging to him and leans forward to meet his thrusts.

She feels Ben touch her neck with his lips, his teeth, his tongue, tracing the outline of the marks he made, and she desperately wants him to keep going forever.

He moves in her _so right_ , hitting all the right spots that makes Rey squeal into the pillow.

She moans loudly, feeling that she is so close, just a little more, just _a little_...

She wakes up abruptly, almost suffocating from the sensation of heat searing her from head to toe.

No, _no_ , what?

It's completely dark outside, and it takes a few minutes for Rey to get her rapid breathing under control.

Oh, _fuck_ , this isn't funny at all.

She whimpers into the pillow, feeling the heat of need spreading between her tremble legs.

She wants, needs, even...

Without thinking twice, she reaches into her pajama shorts and throws herself over the edge of pleasure in less than a minute.

It would take her a long time to forget about that bastard, that‘s for sure.


	5. Rey III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the delay, this month has been crazy for me :/ i hope ya'll enjoy this chapter! :)

Drinking alcohol on an empty stomach is not the smartest idea, but Rey doesn't give a fuck, not really.

Today she wants to drown herself in wine.

Maybe this way she could finally put all thoughts of the man, whose name she refused to say, out of her mind.

It had been several days since she had last seen him, or more precisely, 2 days and 12 hours, which had been full of tears, crying and heartbreaking suffering.

Fortunately, Rose helped her a little: she filled Rey’s head with good morals, about how wicked it is to date a married man (as if Rey could forget about it for a second). Rose inundated her with advice on how best to deal with the overwhelming attraction to a man, one which she could simply not have a future with.

Under the guidance of her friend, on the third day, Rey seemed to have overcome an unwanted attachment, because at one point a feeling of unexpected lightness enveloped her from head to toe.

Endless classes, extra shifts at work, and an overly sociable Rose had pulled her out of the dark-eyed pool.

And now, if anyone had asked her about the man she'd spent the night with, Rey wouldn't have flinched. The smile wouldn't have left her face, and the tears wouldn't have glistened in her eyes.

Yes, this is definitely over-absolutely and unequivocally.

With these thoughts Rey followed Rose into the night club; with these thoughts she danced to music that sent shivers down her spine; with these thoughts she drank the first glass of wine, and then...

And then it all went to hell.

Damn her phone and her inexplicable urge to put an end to this wicked game, which even a drunken Rey can't even call a relationship.

As soon as Rose slipped into the bathroom, Rey takes her phone, and dials a text with trembling fingers—the content of the message disappears from her mind before she presses the send button—and asks the bartender for another drink.

Rose appears and disappears again in the raging crowd. With every passing second Rey with a sinking heart waits for the approaching disaster. He might come, he might not-in any case, it will be a complete disappointment for her.

Rey finishes her wine, tapping her fingers on the bar in time to the music. And as soon as she sees a familiar silhouette, she stops, almost falling off her chair.

Alcohol does strange things to her.

Less than an hour ago, Rey had been happy to forget about him, and now she is smiling _happily_ and not throwing her arms around his neck just because her poor coordination wouldn't allow it.

“Ben,” Rey gasps as she jumps off her chair, feeling every cell in her body rush to meet him, burning with wild impatience. “You came.”

When he gets closer, he takes her in his arms, and she instantly melts against him.

For the first time in her life, the presence of another person makes her feel _home_.

Rey is drowning in his smell, burning with desire, which spreads in a dizzying fire in her entire body.

“Of course.” She hears his smoky, rumbling voice that makes her weak in the knees.

Standing on her tiptoe, Rey kisses him on the cheek, feeling the barely noticeable stubble.

“And you're drunk.”

She giggles and tries to remember exactly what she text him, but almost immediately realizes that it doesn’t matter, because he is _right here_ and she is happy.

“Oh, you noticed.”

Her vision doubles, and at some point Rey realizes that there is a chair under her ass, and Ben hands her a glass, insistently forcing her to drink the clear liquid.

“Don't wanna,” she whines, dropping her head on the bar. But eventually he persuades her. The liquid turns out to be a cool water, and soon her vision stabilizes, the spinning stops before her eyes, and only one of the two Bens remains in front of her.

He's sitting right next to her, just like the first time they met, and Rey swallows, realizing that he's looking at her with concern.

“You came.” It comes from her lips almost against her will.

There is too much surprise in her voice, and Ben leans over and pulls her chair closer to him.

“Yes,” he says simply, as if this is nothing unusual. “You wanted to talk.”

To talk... She want to talk? Fuck, _fuck_ , really?

“I’m... No. I mean, yes. I just...”

Only now does Rey notice how exhausted he is.

Instead of a business suit, he's wearing plain dark jeans and a black shirt, and for some reason Rey’s heart skips a beat.

There is shadows under his dark eyes, which gave his face an almost deathly pallor in the dim light.  There is a furrow between his brows that Rey itch to smooth out with her fingertips.

She reaches out and touches his face, carefully brushing the straggling strands of hair from his eyes.

He responds to her touch immediately.

Squinting like a cat, Ben slightly bowing his head and leaves a kiss on her palm, which instantly sends billions of tiny lightning bolts throughout her body.

Her heart is pounding in her throat, goosebumps runs down her spine, her mouth is terribly dry. She licks her lips and stands on her feet before he pulls her into a kiss.

Trying not to look into his wide, bewildered eyes, she turns on her heels and heads for the bathroom without saying a word.

Her brain, which had been working on autopilot until this very moment, restarts and begins to work.

She is one step away from going down that road-not just to step on it, but to run on full speed.

Her body, which clearly doesn’t listen to her, is burning in anticipation of the caresses of a man who doesn’t belong to her.

_Not for the first time_ , she thinks sourly.

A mirthless laugh escapes Rey’s lips, and the girls who come out of the smoky bathroom, salute her with an open bottle of wine.

Hiding in a dirty stall, Rey pulls her phone out of her pocket, unlocking the screen and for a few seconds looks at the ten missed calls from Ben's number.

Her heart stumbles, but she shakes her head and calls Rose, knowing for sure that if her friend doesn't get her out of here _right now_ , she can't say no to him.

When it goes to voicemail, Rey hung up and calls again.

Rose doesn't answer the second call, the fifth or even the tenth.

Eventually, Rey’s phone died.

After washing her hands, she returns to Ben, who is sitting in the same place, his head resting on his hands, folded on the bar.

“I thought you ran out the back door,” he says with a wry grin as he takes a sip of the amber liquid.

She was sober enough to notice the tension in his shoulders, his posture, even his grin. What happened to him?

Rey falls into the chair next to his and begins tapping her fingers on the bar.

“I didn't find it,” she says dryly, and asks the bartender for a glass of water, because her tongue suddenly sticks to the roof of her mouth, making her want to choke on her own words.

Ben finishes his drink, pays for it and waits until Rey drains her glass. Then he silently holds out his hand in a completely unambiguous gesture.

He could just take her hand and she would go, follow him anywhere, without even thinking twice, but he waits patiently, giving her the opportunity to refuse.

She tries desperately to remember all the plausible arguments she's been telling herself over the past few days.

She struggles to remember why they can't just be together, but in his presence it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. He’s here, in front of her.

Stopping the torment in her mind, Rey accepts his hand, entrusting herself to him... only this time for good.

Looking out the window of his car, Rey follows the street lamps with a bleary stare.

Music plays softly on the background, enveloping Rey from head to toe.

As soon as she begins to sing along—crookedly and obviously wrongly—Ben suddenly laughs, and the sound of his laugh goes right to her heart, rips through her very soul, runs straight into her blood, filling her with a pleasant warmth that instantly makes Rey want to throw herself at him, climb on his knees and bite into his lips with a desperate kiss.

Biting the inside of her cheek, she watches him from under her lashes, thinking only that this man's mere existence has cut off her ability to be with someone else.

How could she look at another man now, knowing—remembering—the inhuman pull with which she was being hurled repeatedly into his arms?

When Ben stops at her entrance, he looks at her and waits in silence, taking no action, giving her a choice _again_.

She looks into his eyes and sees her own reflection in his dilated pupils.

And Rey forgets her own name—what does she care about the problems that will inevitably arise with the dawn?

One problem more, one less, so what the difference does it make?

They go up to her apartment in silence.

While she fumbles with the lock, Ben waits patiently a step away from her, but as soon as the door slams shut behind them, he immediately presses her against the wall, pulling her into a hungry kiss, in which she instantly sinks, gasping with heartbreaking joy.

His touch is greedy, his mouth insatiable, and his patience, like hers, already gone.

Rey willingly allows him to strip off her dress, and as soon as he presses his hips to hers, she feels the desired hardness and doesn’t even try to restrain a treacherous moan.

She throws herself into him again, dives into his depths, knowing full well that after that she won’t come to the surface.

But the thought doesn't bother her, not really, especially when Ben rips off her panties and growls right into her mouth, feeling the searing heat and the moisture between her thighs that speaks for itself.

“What are you doing to me?” he croaks, smearing wetness on her entrance.

After inserting a finger into her, he almost immediately adds a second, causing Rey to gasp and throw her head back, giving him perfect access to her neck.

He immediately bites into her tender skin, leaving a trail of new marks in the most visible spots.

Instead of answering, she runs her hands under his shirt. Her fingertips skimming over his muscles and ribs, then down, tugging at the hem of his shirt, forcing him to get rid of the annoying barrier.

As soon as he takes it off, she presses her lips to his skin, covering his bare chest with kisses.

Her tongue slides over the moles scattered on his pale skin.  Nibbling at his nipple, she reaches for the leather belt, tugs at the plaque, trying to rip it out by the force if necessary, but he immediately understands her without words.

Finished with his belt, he lowers his pants and grabs Rey under her ass, and slowly but surely lowering her to his cock, making her gasp, feeling the burning stretch.

Her fingers are digging into his bare shoulders and she is whimpering, her head on his chest, but he is relentless.

As soon as he gets all the way in, he slowly pulls out and almost immediately bursting back in with a force that makes the stars flash in front of Rey's eyes and makes her cry out in surprise.

“Sorry, sorry, love,” he gasps, and the next push isn't as rough, and yet there isn't a bit of tenderness in it.

His movements are full of passion and desire, which makes Rey gasp, twitch to meet his thrusts, trying to take him deeper.

They just getting started, and she already feels the fire, a hot flame flaring up in her belly.

“More, more, more,” she whispers, whimpers, pressing closer to him, wanting to get under his skin, get inside him, and never leave him again.

The thought hits her, but Rey shakes her head, hoping that his passion will destroy all the wrangling of her conscience.

He's close, close, _close_ , so what does it matter what happens next, right? 

Right?

She pulls him into a kiss before the words are out of her mouth.

Ben kiss her lips and fucks in her with the same ferocious hunger which makes her dizzy.

He pulls away first, kissing her cheek, along her jawline, behind her ear, accompanying every thrust, every movement of his lips with words that cause stars to explode inside her, blinding her with the brightest light, burning out her mind and leaving only pure pleasure.

In a matter of heartbeats she cums, and Ben doesn't stop, doesn’t slow down as he guides her through the searing pleasure that nearly knocks her unconscious.

Limp in his arms, with a sinking heart, Rey feels him following her.

From the bright sensations, she almost passes out, and only when she is in bed, she realizes that he is still there, he did not leave her, _he didn’t leave_ , and the thought of this gives her no less pleasure than the orgasm experienced a few minutes ago.

Rey snuggles against him, feeling his arms around her.

She falls asleep before she can remember exactly what she wanted to talk to him about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be Ben's POV, and we will get a brief glimpse into his thoughts. and i'd really like to know what y'all think about it :)
> 
> also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/CRYOMANCER) ❤️


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